DAY OF THE THREAD
Breaking news has just emerged that will take the embroidery and crafting world by storm. It has come to this reporter’s attention that black stranded cotton – the sort commonly used in cross stitch and freestyle hand-embroidery – is in desperately short supply worldwide. Blackwork, a form of counted embroidery (see picture below), faces a struggle for survival in the current dark days crafters are experiencing.
We urge all readers to remain calm during this trying time, to stay in your homes and IN ALL CIRCUMSTANCES DO NOT PANIC!!!
Our suspicions as to this potentially catastrophic circumstance were raised a number of months ago when this reporter was unable to find any stranded black stranded thread, either of DMC or Anchor manufacture, in local craft chain store Hobbycraft. This situation has not improved in the last three months, and our worst fears were compounded today when Hobbycraft’s management informed us that there was indeed a dire shortage of black thread available and they were unable to further assist with this escalating situation.
In craft stores nationwide, this news has resulted in scenes not seen since Black Friday where instead of scrambling for TVs, usually law-abiding citizens have been frantically fighting for the last skeins of precious black thread. Disturbing scenes of violence are reported from multiple sources, with crowds surging to the haberdashery aisle to have their worst fears realised in the empty space marked ‘310’ on the DMC carousel. Stumbling, desperate textile students have been seen standing, in sleep-deprived huddles, around the entrances to many a major store desperately waiting for an inevitably empty delivery truck to appease their addiction with mumbled cries of, ‘SKEINS!’
The government is in the process of setting up a public information film via the emergency broadcast channel, but in the meantime urges all citizens to continue stitching as best they can with the limited resources available. Under no circumstance approach the desperate citizens who appear ‘turned’ by their need to feed their stitch appetites. It is unknown how long they can survive without their black stranded cotton, or how long their desperate affliction will continue to affect society.
An unconfirmed source has suggested that the reason for this sudden shortage is the existence of an underground vampire coven, many of whose members seem to have turned to craft since the success of #handmadehour on Twitter. With its calming, theraputic and productive qualities, hand stitching seems an ideal respite to relax from the disturbing desire to drain humans of their blood. However, with a predilection for darkness, it goes without saying which single colour remains top of the undead’s haberdashery must-haves.
More news will be published the moment this reporter recieves word back from DMC or Anchor. In the meantime, keep up to date with developments with Hanging By A Thread on twitter #hbatemb or using #bringbackblackthread.